Not feeling well again today
Guess I’ll go to the doctor and see what he has to say
The tests are taken, the prognosis is in
He smiles as he tells me a new life is growing within.

A baby is a dream come true
A joy shared not just by one but by two
My husband will be ecstatic when he hears the news
An heir to one day fill his shoes.

A sudden pain wakes me from my sleep
I try to walk but fall into a heap
Something has gone wrong, I call my husband’s name
We rush to the hospital; soon after the baby came.

Our son who was three months premature
Had too many problems to endure
Tho he fought more than most babies would
The battle was lost, the doctors did everything they could.

The lose of a baby is a nightmare come true
A sorrow shared not just by one but by two
My husband was very saddened when he heard the news
For now there is no heir to fill those baby shoes.

CC

Little did I know that when I wrote this poem several years ago there wouldn’t be a husband (still hope for that) or ever a baby, son or daughter, neither, never. There must have been something deep inside me that knew, knew this wasn’t about a lost baby but about a baby that would never be. A poem written about a boy but as the years pass is actually about Ateal, the daughter that never was. Ateal, the soul I’ll never know. Ateal, an unusual name but a beautiful name to me. I know we’re not suppose to ask why and yet I ask why, why not me? why will I never know the feeling of being pregnant? Why won’t I ever know the joy of hearing your child laugh? Why? I know one day I will have the answers to not only that question but so many more. Wait. That’s what I have to do is wait. I’m always waiting it seems.  I’m tired of waiting. Hmmm