My List

Posted by: meekowl on: March 23, 2009

In: my stuff
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I decided I would write down some things Iwant to do before my life is over. I guess you could call it my Bucket List.
1. Parasail (sp?)
2. Whitewater Rafting
3. Ride on a zip line
4. Deep sea fishing
5. Get over my fear of riding on a motorcycle.
6. Hotair balloon ride
7. Africian Safari
8. Jet ski
9. Gamble in Vegas
10. See a Broadway play in NY.
11. Visit Chicago
12. Whale watching
13. Take an Alaskian Cruise
14. Run a 5K – training starts 4/1- because of the late season blizzards training has been postponed but I WILL DO THIS! I’m excited about it not to mention the health benefits and what female doesn’t want to be a size smaller?
15. Take another Meditranian cruise.
16. Attend a pro football game.
17. Attend a pro basketball game.
18. Attend a pro hockey game.
19. See what fireworks look like from a plane…or can you even see them?
20.
I better get busy…so much to do!

The Truth

Posted by: meekowl on: March 3, 2009

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I’m sitting here watching The Bachelor and wondering how many times do we let the right one go for someone more exciting, beautiful, skinnier and end up getting our own hearts broken in the end?

I bet it happens more than we might think. So many people are hung up on the outside, wanting the one that’s sexier than their friends girlfriends, looks better in society and so on.

FOLLOW YOUR HEART NO MATTER WHAT! You don’t owe anyone anything, not a career, not a trip, not a car, house NOTHING. But you owe yourself happiness. Don’t make the mistake that Jason made on the show. Do it for you, do it for me, just do it. He couldn’t stop thinking about Molly no matter how hard he tried no matter who he was with or what he was doing. He tried to stay engaged and make it work but but couldn’t. Love shouldn’t have to be “made to work”, it just happens. I totally know that you have to work at relationships I get that but that’s not what I’m talking about. I can’t keep from thinking about you. There it’s out there, I’ve finally said it. You can’t change fate, I totally believe that. You can put up roadblocks and obsticles but you can’t change what’s meant to be you can just bury it and be miserable and regret your choices.

If you’re here reading this then you know too otherwise you wouldn’t be here. If you’re not here then at least I got this off my chest. I’ll never know one way or the other if you were here.

I’m going to repeat what I wrote before which is what happens when I try to love someone else.

Silence

Posted by: meekowl on: December 19, 2007

In: Random Thoughts| my stuff
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My hair is curled just so.
My makeup is flawless and yet natural.
I slip into my outfit and heels.
I’m ready for my night.
There it is again, that silence.
Just a few seconds is all it takes.
And my mind wanders to a place I don’t want to go.
Saved by the doorbell. I’m off to fill this silence with noise.

What a night it turned out to be.
The lights were low.
The music was loud.
Thousands of people milling about.
Mingling with him, laughing with her.
Drinking to escape.
Dancing to forget.

It should have been easy.
There were so many distractions.
But those few seconds of silence is all it took.
They gave me just enough time.
I didn’t want to go there.

No matter how many people are around.
I still go to that place.
A place I don’t have a right to go.
A place I feel foolish going to.

What is it that keeps me filling my silence with thoughts.
Thoughts of you.
Thoughts that don’t belong in my head.
Thoughts I want to get rid of.

Just because I’m not alone doesn’t mean I’m not lonely.
That has come to make perfect sense to me.
I’ve really been given nothing.
No reason to hang on.
And yet…I do.

How long can I continue to hold on to something that feels like it won’t ever be.
How long can I hold on without getting something in return.
A word, anything to let me know; like in the past.
The something I need was being given to someone else.
Someone who means nothing and yet means everything.

It has to end soon. It’s hurting too many people. I’m tired of this silence. Silence please, please go away.

I finally found what I’ve been looking for in my notebook. This is what I’ve been trying to say but couldn’t remember exactly how it went so I just wrote my own version above. But this sums it up using very few words.

“But a woman without her man is alone, no matter how many others there are in the house. “

Period. Enough said.

Happy Birthday

Posted by: meekowl on: February 25, 2009

In: Uncategorized
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Happy Birthday Grandpa. November 4, 2008 nearly 4 months have passed and I still miss you and think about you every single day.

They say that God never closes one door without opening anohter. He took away the most important man in my life. Someone who was the closest thing to a father that I ever had. Maybe, just maybe (finger, toes, arms and legs crossed) he’s ready to give me the man of my dreams. Not as a replacement or substitute (no one could ever replace Grandpa) but as a life partner.

Behold the Woman

Posted by: meekowl on: January 29, 2009

In: this and that
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Quote of the day:
Behold the Woman “Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.
If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.”

Life is short

Posted by: meekowl on: December 17, 2008

In: this and that
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Life is short!

Break the rules!

Forgive quickly!

Kiss slowly!

Love truly!

Laugh uncontrollably!

And never regret anything that made you smile!

In Remembrance

Posted by: meekowl on: December 8, 2008

In: this and that
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Do not stand by my grave and weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the soft and drifting snow.
I am the gentle falling rain.
I am the sunlight on fields of grain.
Do not stand by my grave and weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.
Do not stand by my grave and cry.
I am not there; I did not die.
I am the early morning’s hush.
I am the swift uplifting rush–
Of wild geese in their flight.
I am the twinkling stars at night.
Do not stand by my grave and cry.
I am not there; I did not die.
Take a breath and let me go.
Your heart should not be grieving so.
I am at my journey’s start.
If you need me search your heart; That is where I will be.
Until God brings you home to me.
Do not stand by my grave and weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.

Protected: Grandpa is Gone

Posted by: meekowl on: November 2, 2008

In: my stuff
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9/11/01 Remembered

Posted by: meekowl on: September 12, 2008

In: my stuff
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“Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)”

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day
Out in the yard with your wife and children
Working on some stage in LA
Did you stand there in shock at the site of
That black smoke rising against that blue sky
Did you shout out in anger
In fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry

Did you weep for the children
Who lost their dear loved ones
And pray for the ones who don’t know
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below

Did you burst out in pride
For the red white and blue
The heroes who died just doing what they do
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself to what really matters

I’m just a singer of simple songs
I’m not a real political man
I watch CNN but I’m not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day
Teaching a class full of innocent children
Driving down some cold interstate
Did you feel guilty cause you’re a survivor
In a crowded room did you feel alone
Did you call up your mother and tell her you love her
Did you dust off that bible at home
Did you open your eyes and hope it never happened
Close your eyes and not go to sleep
Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages
Speak with some stranger on the street
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow
Go out and buy you a gun
Did you turn off that violent old movie you’re watching
And turn on “I Love Lucy” reruns
Did you go to a church and hold hands with some stranger
Stand in line and give your own blood
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love